Now that The Vatican has solved all the problems facing Catholicism, Pope Benedict has issued the Ten Commandments for drivers. Thank God! This will surely put an end to road rage and idiots who don’t know how to merge.
I have an idea I would like to pitch to the Pope. Why doesn’t the Catholic Church team up with traffic courts and combine the Confessional with traffic school? If you’re Catholic, you can go to a confessional booth, confess your traffic sins, pay a few bucks, say a few prayers for penance … and then your traffic violation will not show up on your driving record! It’s a win, win. (And since you have to be Catholic to go to confession, it will be a great recruiting tool!)
Imagine:
- Sinner/Speeder: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been six months since my last confession. These are my sins. I went 45 mph in a 30 mph zone. I cut off a BMW on the freeway. I made an illegal U-Turn. I failed to use my blinkers six times.
- Priest: Bless you, my son. Say three Hail Mary’s, two Acts of Contrition, and say a special prayer to Saint Frances of Rome, the Patron Saint of Safe Driving.*
Maybe this could be a drive-through confessional. Think about it, Pope … another revenue stream for the Church!
*-Yes, there actually is a Patron Saint of Safe Driving!
Al Olson | Life in the Great Northwest 